That day, I lost my mom. Figuratively. My parents signed the divorce, something that we saw coming ages ago yet it didn’t happen until now.
She went away with another man last July. I asked her about him in
September and she shouted at me horrible things I can still listen to in
my head (“you are nuts, a liar… reading so many books is making you
crazy…”). I stopped talking to her.
On January, she “apologized” but I didn’t think she was being honest.
I ignored her. I was trying to heal myself from thousands of scars and
wounds she left me through my entire life.
On February 21, I received her suit for divorce against my dad. She said horrible things and lies. Some of them were about her, but attributed to my dad … I said many things in January. Even my second brother, who is younger than me for two years, was involved, illegally, in the lies.
The next day, February 22, she took away my
youngest brother. He is 15, I haven’t seen him since, even though I’ve
chatted a couple time with him. It seems as if they are controlling each
and every of his moves. I should know, been there, done that, and all
that jazz. Still, she kept sending my and my older brother text messages
saying that she loved us… we couldn’t believe them. I told myself that I would talk to her again if she showed she cared about us, but she didn’t.
So, yeah… on Wednesday April 10, 2013, my
parents signed the divorce. I wanted… wished… for her to show she really
cared about me and my brother. We wanted for her to accept my dad’s
agreement (leaving us the house until my brother finished college or I
was 25, meaning 3 more years), She didn’t.
She wanted to sell the house as soon as
possible because I could work and help pay bills, and my brother was too
behind in school and he should start to see for himself… In other
words, she didn’t care about our well being. In the end, we have to sell
the house in a year and a half.
When she went out of the offices, we saw her and she saw us… and she smiled delighted. It hurt… Practically, she pushed us aside, she denied us as her children. On Friday, she sent us a text message that said that she loved us. But she already lost us.
She may earn her money and lived happily ever after with
this man. I really hope she ends up being happy and I will forgive her
once I stop feeling so sad and mad… but she lost her only daughter and
her older son, who is so full of resentment and hatred it hurts… I don’t
know when I will talk to her again, but in the main time, she isn’t a
“mom” or a “mother” anymore, she’s only the person who brought me to
I want her and her boyfriend the best. I wish my
soon-to-be 20 year old brother the best. I hope I can see really soon my
15 year old brother. I pray my older brother heals from his hurt and
hatred and resentment. I want my dad to be happy… and I want myself to
be okay… I don’t know how long it will take, but I know I will.
I will be free from the labyrinth of suffering.
domingo, 14 de abril de 2013
sábado, 19 de febrero de 2011
La Elegancia del Erizo de Muriel Barbery
Este hermoso libro nos relata las historias de Renée Michel, la portera de un edificio de ricos en Paris, y Paloma Josse, una niña súper inteligente de 12 años que vive junto con su familia en dicho edificio, donde Renée debe mantener un "bajo perfil" para estar al "nivel de su profesión. Dichas historias cambian radicalmente con la llegada de Kakuro Ozu, quien tiene un interés que roza el afecto por ambas mujeres... especialmente por Renée.
Las voces de Renée y Paloma narran sus propias historias, lo que les da una sensación de realidad impresionante. Personalmente, encontré la voz de Renée un tanto complicada, e incluso en algunas ocaciones rebuscada, lo que ocasionaba que mi lectura se volviera lenta. En cambio, la voz de Paloma me impactó... me recordó la forma en la que yo pensaba a los 12 años, por lo que al leer sus partes era como leerme a mi misma.
Todos los personajes resultan entrañables y mágicos, a su manera. Por ejemplo, Ozu cambia "descongela" el corazón de Renée y alegra la monótona vida de Paloma.
El libro es, en palabras de la amiga que me lo prestó, subrayable de cabo a rabo, y vaya que concuerdo con ello. Creo que no tardaré en comprarme mi propia copia, para conservar mis pasajes favoritos; y, quizás, cuando aprenda francés, esperemos que sea en un futuro no muy lejano, lo lea en su idioma original. Además, hay tantas alusiones y menciones de Ana Karenina que mis ganas de leer dicho libro han aumentado.
Deseo ver con todo mi corazón la adaptación cinematográfica, Le Hérisson... veremos si la consigo pronto.
Les comparto uno de mis pasajes favoritos:
"La señora Michel tiene la elegancia del erizo: por fuera está cubierta de púas, una verdadera fortaleza, pero intuyo que, por dentro, tiene el mismo refinamiento sencillo de los erizos, que son animalillos falsamente indolentes, tremendamente solitarios y terriblemente elegantes."
Entrada dedicada a María, cuyo blog amo, y a Elliot, mi guía a esta preciosa joya literaria.
jueves, 13 de enero de 2011
The Guernsey Literary & Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Anne Shaffer & Annie Barrows
“I wonder how the book got to Guernsey? Perhaps there is some sort of secret
homing instinct in books that brings them to their perfect readers.”
I have always thought that a book can save you, from anything! I have read lots of amazing books in my almost 20 years of life, they have been my back-up plan, my accomplices, my entertainment...
But there are some books that are more than that... that become your friends, and give you a heart-warming sensation, and The Guernsey Literary & Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Anne Shaffer & Annie Barrows is one of those.
Written as letters, The Guernsey Literary & Potato Peel Pie Society tells us the story of Juliet Ashton and the people of one of the Channel Islands, Guernsey, just after the WWII is over.
I must confess that I was on the verge of tears when I finished it. You get to love each one of the characters as if they were part of your family: Juliet, Dawsey, Elizabeth, Kit, Isola, Sidney, Eben, Eli... all of them are real people in my mind!
I hope everybody manage to read this book sometime in their life, because I cannot praise it enough. Now, I really want to do three things: first of all, do my own Literary Society (or join one); secondly, have a penpal (I really want to receive and send letter to someone abroad!); and, last but not least, go to Guernsey in a near future!
lunes, 3 de enero de 2011
I have decided to join another challenge this year! It is the Fairy-tale Challenge that is held by Tiff. The reason? I really love a good fairy-tale! They are one of the reasons why I am a book lover.
So, I'll be in the Happily Ever After level, which means I will "read/watch any combination of original tales, modern tales, or films, resulting in 12 total selections."
I am so excited for this challenge!
domingo, 2 de enero de 2011
2010 was a little intense for me: I finished High School, started college, started to collaborate for two magazines, read as much as I could, got to know amazing persons, discovered more of myself... Now, this year is over!
I managed to complete some of the reading challenges, but as I started to read more English books (I can read really fast, in Spanish... in English I still need practice because of some of the words I still do not understand...), my reading pace was quite slow... I managed to read 82 books out of 100... but I got to know some new (for me) authors:
- A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
- A la Sombra del Ángel de Kathryn S. Blair
- Alas de Aprilynne Pike
- Arráncame la Vida de Ángeles Mastretta
- Azul de Rubén Dario
- Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
- Cannery Row by John Steinbeck
- Carolina en el País de las Estaciones de Luis Ramoneda
- Cranford by Elizabeth Gaskell
- Crepúsculo de Stephenie Meyer
- Diez (Posibles) Razones para la Tristeza del Pensamiento de George Steiner
- Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
- El Arco y la Lira de Octavio Paz
- El Club de los Muertos de Charlaine Harris
- El Cuento Número Trece de Diane Setterfield (re-lectura)
- El Círculo Mágico de Katherine Neville
- El Diario de Lucía de Kathryn S. Blair
- El Mago de OZ de Lyman Frank Baum
- El Sexto Sol de J. L. Murra
- El Vuelo del Dragón de AnneMcCaffrey
- Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
- Harry Potter y el Prisionero de Azkaban de J. K. Rowling
- Harry Potter y la Cámara de los Secretos de J. K. Rowling
- Harry Potter y la Piedra Filosofal de J. K. Rowling
- Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad
- Inés del Alma Mía de Isabel Allende
- La Idea de Europa de George Steiner
- La Ilíada de Homero
- La Odisea de Homero
- La Orestiada de Esquilo
- La Pianista de Varsovia de Walter Zacharias
- La Segunda Vida de Bree Tanner de Stephenie Meyer
- La Vela de Navidad (The Christmas Candle) by Max Lucado
- Las Batallas en el Desierto de José Emilio Pacheco
- Las Brujas de Mayfair I: La Hora de las Brujas de Anne Rice
- Leah by J. M. Reep
- Los Filósofos Griegos de W. K. Guthrie
- Los Guardianes del Libro de Geraldine Brooks
- Los Trabajos y los Días de Hesiodo
- Los Trenes del Verano de José María Merino
- Love Story by Erich Segal
- Miracle on the 34th Street by Valentine Davies
- Muerto Hasta el Anochecer de Charlaine Harris
- Muerto para el Mundo de Charlaine Harris
- My Ántonia by Willa Cather
- Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
- Pirática de Tanith Lee
- Poética de Aristóteles
- Protréptico de Aristóteles
- Songs of Innocence & Songs of Experience by William Blake
- Sonnets by William Shakespeare
- Sonnets from the Portuguese by Elizabeth Barrett Browning
- Teogonía de Hesiodo
- The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger
- The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy
- The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde
- The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
- The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides
- This Year It Will Be Different by Maeve Binchy
- Titán A.E. de Steve y Dal Perry
- Travesuras de la Niña Mala de Mario Vargas Llosa
- Tres Metros sobre el CIelo de Federico Moccia
- Una Habitación con Vistas de E. M. Forster
- Vampire Academy de Richelle Mead
- Vivir y Morir en Dallas de Charlaine Harris
- Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett
- Who Moved My Cheese? by Spencer Johnson
- Ética Nicomaquea de Aristóteles
Some of them were amazingly great, others were not... but I enjoyed reading them all! Also, I got to know lots of great bloggers, went through the Read-A-Thon for first time, watched some awesome films...
Yes, 2010 was awesomely great, and I hope 2011 being great too!
Now, I have some new resolutions for this New Year:
- Learn a new language (Italian or German... I can understand a little of Ancient & Modern Greek and Latin, French, Italian and Portuguese... but I really want to learn how to speak, read and write German, Italian, French, Portuguese, Japanese, Chinese, and Russian... so, I'll start studying).
- Read 100 books (yeah, I'll be into the 100+ Reading Challenge again).
- Work-out twice a week (I walk a lot... but I think I need to do more!).
- Go back to dance classes (I have studied classic ballet and modern dance... I want to go back to either of them).
- Drink less soda.
- Post more book reviews.
- Enter more read-alongs.
- Enter the Read-A-Thon.
- Go to the movie theater more often, at least twice a month.
So, let's get started!