April 10, 2013

That day, I lost my mom. Figuratively. My parents signed the divorce, something that we saw coming ages ago yet it didn’t happen until now.

She went away with another man last July. I asked her about him in September and she shouted at me horrible things I can still listen to in my head (“you are nuts, a liar… reading so many books is making you crazy…”). I stopped talking to her.

On January, she “apologized” but I didn’t think she was being honest. I ignored her. I was trying to heal myself from thousands of scars and wounds she left me through my entire life.

On February 21, I received her suit for divorce against my dad. She said horrible things and lies. Some of them were about her, but attributed to my dad … I said many things in January. Even my second brother, who is younger than me for two years, was involved, illegally, in the lies.

The next day, February 22, she took away my youngest brother. He is 15, I haven’t seen him since, even though I’ve chatted a couple time with him. It seems as if they are controlling each and every of his moves. I should know, been there, done that, and all that jazz. Still, she kept sending my and my older brother text messages saying that she loved us… we couldn’t believe them. I told myself that I would talk to her again if she showed she cared about us, but she didn’t.

So, yeah… on Wednesday April 10, 2013, my parents signed the divorce. I wanted… wished… for her to show she really cared about me and my brother. We wanted for her to accept my dad’s agreement (leaving us the house until my brother finished college or I was 25, meaning 3 more years), She didn’t. 

She wanted to sell the house as soon as possible because I could work and help pay bills, and my brother was too behind in school and he should start to see for himself… In other words, she didn’t care about our well being. In the end, we have to sell the house in a year and a half.


When she went out of the offices, we saw her and she saw us… and she smiled delighted. It hurt… Practically, she pushed us aside, she denied us as her children. On Friday, she sent us a text message that said that she loved us. But she already lost us.

She may earn her money and lived happily ever after with this man. I really hope she ends up being happy and I will forgive her once I stop feeling so sad and mad… but she lost her only daughter and her older son, who is so full of resentment and hatred it hurts… I don’t know when I will talk to her again, but in the main time, she isn’t a “mom” or a “mother” anymore, she’s only the person who brought me to life.

I want her and her boyfriend the best. I wish my soon-to-be 20 year old brother the best. I hope I can see really soon my 15 year old brother. I pray my older brother heals from his hurt and hatred and resentment. I want my dad to be happy… and I want myself to be okay… I don’t know how long it will take, but I know I will.

I will be free from the labyrinth of suffering.

2010... is over! 2011... let's do it!

2010 was a little intense for me: I finished High School, started college, started to collaborate for two magazines, read as much as I could, got to know amazing persons, discovered more of myself... Now, this year is over!

I managed to complete some of the reading challenges, but as I started to read more English books (I can read really fast, in Spanish... in English I still need practice because of some of the words I still do not understand...), my reading pace was quite slow... I managed to read 82 books out of 100... but I got to know some new (for me) authors:

1. A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
2. A la Sombra del Ángel de Kathryn S. Blair
3. Alas de Aprilynne Pike
4. Arráncame la Vida de Ángeles Mastretta
5. Azul de Rubén Dario
6. Back Home by Michelle Magorian
7. Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
8. Cannery Row by John Steinbeck
9. Carolina en el País de las Estaciones de Luis Ramoneda
10. Cranford by Elizabeth Gaskell
11. Crepúsculo de Stephenie Meyer
12. Diez (Posibles) Razones para la Tristeza del Pensamiento de George Steiner
13. Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
14. El Arco y la Lira de Octavio Paz
15. El Club de los Muertos de Charlaine Harris
16. El Cuento Número Trece de Diane Setterfield (re-lectura)
17. El Círculo Mágico de Katherine Neville
18. El Diario de Lucía de Kathryn S. Blair
19. El Mago de OZ de Lyman Frank Baum
20. El Nombre del Viento de Patrick Rothfuss
21. El Sexto Sol de J. L. Murra
22. El Señor de los Ladrones de Cornelia Funke
23. El Vuelo del Dragón de AnneMcCaffrey
24. Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
25. First Impressions: A Tale of Less Pride & Prejudice by Alexa Adams
26. Gulliver's Travels by Jonathan Swift
27. Harry Potter y el Prisionero de Azkaban de J. K. Rowling
28. Harry Potter y la Cámara de los Secretos de J. K. Rowling
29. Harry Potter y la Piedra Filosofal de J. K. Rowling
30. Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad
31. Inés del Alma Mía de Isabel Allende
32. La Idea de Europa de George Steiner
33. La Ilíada de Homero
34. La Odisea de Homero
35. La Orestiada de Esquilo
36. La Pianista de Varsovia de Walter Zacharias
37. La Segunda Vida de Bree Tanner de Stephenie Meyer
38. La Vela de Navidad (The Christmas Candle) by Max Lucado
39. Lamento de Maggie Stiefvater
40. Las Batallas en el Desierto de José Emilio Pacheco
41. Las Brujas de Mayfair I: La Hora de las Brujas de Anne Rice
42. Las Horas de Michael Cunningham
43. Leah by J. M. Reep
44. Literati de Barry McCrea
45. Los Filósofos Griegos de W. K. Guthrie
46. Los Guardianes del Libro de Geraldine Brooks
47. Los Trabajos y los Días de Hesiodo
48. Los Trenes del Verano de José María Merino
49. Love Story by Erich Segal
50. Martes con mi Viejo Profesor de Mitch Albom
51. Miracle on the 34th Street by Valentine Davies
52. Muerte de Tinta de Cornelia Funke
53. Muerto Hasta el Anochecer de Charlaine Harris
54. Muerto para el Mundo de Charlaine Harris
55. My Ántonia by Willa Cather
56. No Vuelvas a Leer Jane Eyre de Carmen Gómez Ojeda
57. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
58. Perdona si te llamo amor de Federico Moccia
59. Pirática de Tanith Lee
60. Poética de Aristóteles
61. Protréptico de Aristóteles
62. Songs of Innocence & Songs of Experience by William Blake
63. Sonnets by William Shakespeare
64. Sonnets from the Portuguese by Elizabeth Barrett Browning
65. Teogonía de Hesiodo
66. The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger
67. The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy
68. The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde
69. The Last Song by Nicholas Sparks
70. The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
71. The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides
72. This Year It Will Be Different by Maeve Binchy
73. Titán A.E. de Steve y Dal Perry
74. Travesuras de la Niña Mala de Mario Vargas Llosa
75. Tres Metros sobre el CIelo de Federico Moccia
76. Two Histories of England by Jane Austen & Charles Dickens
77. Una Habitación con Vistas de E. M. Forster
78. Vampire Academy de Richelle Mead
79. Vivir y Morir en Dallas de Charlaine Harris
80. Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett
81. Who Moved My Cheese? by Spencer Johnson
82. Ética Nicomaquea de Aristóteles

Some of them were amazingly great, others were not... but I enjoyed reading them all! Also, I got to know lots of great bloggers, went through the Read-A-Thon for first time, watched some awesome films...

Yes, 2010 was awesomely great, and I hope 2011 being great too!

Now, I have some new resolutions for this New Year:

• Learn a new language (Italian or German... I can understand a little of Ancient & Modern Greek and Latin, French, Italian and Portuguese... but I really want to learn how to speak, read and write German, Italian, French, Portuguese, Japanese, Chinese, and Russian... so, I'll start studying).
• Read 100 books (yeah, I'll be into the 100+ Reading Challenge again).
• Work-out twice a week (I walk a lot... but I think I need to do more!).
• Go back to dance classes (I have studied classic ballet and modern dance... I want to go back to either of them).
• Drink less soda.
• Post more book reviews.
• Enter more read-alongs.
• Enter the Read-A-Thon.
• Go to the movie theater more often, at least twice a month.

So, let's get started!

Wrap-Up... Kind of...

So, my last weeks have been chaotic... it was end of term (it was my first term at college, and I am glad to say that I did well) and I have been quite sick (I have been coughing for a week now... I hate it!), but I have managed to read quite a lot (I have read 2 of the books for the Holiday Reading Challenge and a couple of books for my next school term (which will start on January... I am so excited!). In conclusion... get ready for some reviews throughout the next weeks!

Also, I have a challenge with one of my BFFs... we will read Ulysses by James Joyce... we will read a chapter per week or so until we finish it, and we will do comments about it... I know it will take us some time as it is a quite complicated book, but I am looking forward to read and finish it!

Finally, this week is Christmas, so (hopefully) I will receive some awesome books!!

:D

Hour 18

I have been reading for 10 hours now. I have finished Travesuras de la Niña Mala by Mario Vargas Llosa (he is awesome!), Harry Potter & the Sorcerer's Stone by J. K. Rowling (for the 4th time I have loved it!), some short stories ("The Kiss" by Angela Carter, "A Visit to Grandpa's" by Dylan Thomas, "In Love With Raymond Chandler" and "Happy Endings" by Margaret Atwood (she is one of the greatest writers I have ever read, seriously!), and "The Whore of Mensa" by Woody Allen) and a couple of essays ("Politics and the English Language" by George Orwell, and "The Language Mavens" by Steven Pinker), and am through the half of Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. I am quite tired of it, so I'll read a childhood favourite: The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry.

I conclusion, I have read 868 pages so far, which is awesome!

And, as a footnote, today, October 10th, is my little brother 13th birthday. He is an awesomely intelligent kid and I am glad of being his sister. I wish him the best!